Today I came the closest I have ever been to giving up. I had finally reached the end of my tether, I had tried everything I knew to do, and nothing was paying dividend. Nothing! Yup! This morning I was ready to throw in the towel. I cried and cried, got angry and cried again. I checked my emails and saw a LinkedIn email saying “[so and so] had got a new job, click to congratulate them”. Browsing through LinkedIn I hit with the harsh reality that while my friends continue to climb up the career ladder, I am no closer than I was 2 years ago, after leaving Uni, to my goals. I cried some more.
So I thought, If I’m going to throw in the towel, I’d better start looking for a full-time job, my stomach turned. I continued. I googled “graduate schemes” clicked on a fairly attractive position with a competitive salary and benefits, opened the application and I cried the ugliest cry of all the cries I had cried that day. It dawned on me that if I went along with this, this could be the end of the road. Was I really giving up? Or was I just mitigating my losses? Either way my soggy face indicated that the prospect of quitting didn’t fill me with much joy.
Just then, my phone rang, it was brother asking for a lift. While driving, you guessed it, I cried some more. I gathered my thoughts (as best as I could under the circumstances) and admitted that even though I wanted to quit, I didn’t ready to quit. I couldn’t live with the ‘what ifs’ I’d be asking myself forever. I couldn’t face myself knowing I’d given up on my dreams. I wasn’t ready to quit.
The reality of life as an entrepreneur is that this bed of roses has thorns. Sharp ones, and every so often you get pricked and it hurts. The path I have chosen is far from easy, on the contrary it’s possibly the most difficult road. The risks are high and the guarantees are nil. Many brave (or naive) people start this journey but very few people make it to where I’m headed. It’s a winding, ill lit path that is thwart with the unexpected but for the few that diligently continue, for those who feel the fear, disappointed, pain, hurt, endure the setbacks and continue anyway the rewards are untold. Yes my friends the sweet success that is coming will be so very worth it.
I’m planning to do a post called “Don’t be an entrepreneur if….” During this episodic break down a lot points came to me and I thought it would be share them. Stay tuned.
Tell me, how often do you feel like giving up? What was the closest you got to almost giving up for good?
If you want to find out what I’m getting up to in between posts follow me on Twitter @thisiskorede
Till next time. Keep Gettin’ It!